Cinderlina
by pikaree1
Summary: A new version of the old tale. A fairy godparent academy? And ZEL, XELLOS, and AMELIA are in it! At least Lina can attend Prince Gourry's ball... (With a little input from Fullmetal Alchemist and Tsubasa Chronicle (no knowledge of either required to understand it) to make the story longer) Companion fic to Cinderkurogane.


**Petal: A Slayers parody of the story Cinderella, except** _ **my**_ **style: crossovers galore, and no 'glass slipper that could've fit anyone they just got lucky' thing!**

 **Lina: Yippee.**

 **Petal: Yep! HEY, ZEL!**

 **Zelgadis: What.**

 **Petal: As of this moment on, you're a fairy godfather taking an assessment!**

 **Zelgadis: WHAT?!**

 **Petal: You heard me! And you know Lyra!**

 **Zelgadis: No I don't!**

 **Petal: Starting now, you do!**

 **Lyra: Hi. I'm Lyra. I'm Petal's OC from a different fandom. She doesn't own Slayers or Tsubasa Chronicle or xxxHolic (and Yuuko would make an awesome fairy godmother if not for her need to recieve payment) or Fullmetal Alchemist. So now I'm leaving. *catches sight of Lina* YOU'RE LINA INVERSE! CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!**

 **Lina: Nice to know** _ **some**_ **people have good taste.**

 **Zelgadis: What a nutjob. All of them.**

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a girl named Lina. She was very happy, and she loved her parents dearly. One day, however, her mother died. Her father, deciding that a growing girl needs a mother figure, married Lady Zelas Metallium, who already had two daughters of her own: Naga, who had a scary laugh, and Martina, who was quite possibly the most annoying girl in the whole kingdom. Lina was not happy, and she made it very vocal to her father.

"Naga and Martina called me flat-chested again!" Lina complained. As a matter of fact, she had gone ballistic when they had.

"Er, well, they're kind of right..." her father said uncomfortably.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE!" she yelled angrily.

"Er, well..." Lina had inherited her mother's temperament, and her tantrums were explosive. Her father hated paying for all the property damage.

"Whatever!" The girl stalked off.

One day, Lina's father passed away. After she was done crying, she yelled at him, hoping his spirit was somewhere in the vicinity.

"How could you leave us with that hag and her daughters, old man!" she shouted.

"Lina. Stop yelling. It's unbecoming," her terrifying older sister Luna ordered.

"Y-Yes ma'am..." Lina cowered in fear.

"I am going to become a knight and leave home because I am an adult. You're still a child, so you stay here as their unpaid servant as they will undoubtedly force you. It'll build character. Bye." Then Luna left.

Lina frowned. "Ah, gosh darn it. What'd I do to deserve this, L-sama?!"

High up in the heavens, the Lord of Nightmares suddenly shouted, "You destroyed half of one of my shrines, little brat!"

Her subordinate Shabranigdo hurriedly finished his report and made his escape.

Anyway, for the next five years, Lina was the unpaid servant of Lady Metallium and her daughters. She 'befriended' a fellow unpaid servant ("They said they could give me the Philosopher's Stone. Like an idiot, I believed them and signed the stupid contract. What're you in for?" "I'm the child of the harpy's second husband." "Ah.") and lived her life in relative peace (READ: chaos)...

* * *

"G'morning, midget!" Lina said cheerfully.

"Morning, flatty," Edward said with a tense smile, a vein popping on his forehead.

"Good morning, bean sprout," Lina said, a vein popping up on her forehead as well.

"And a wonderful morning it is, shorty," Edward continued, another vein joining its brother.

"Hello, pipsqueak," Lina sneered.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SUPER ULTRA HYPER PIPSQUEAK?!" Edward raged, immediately starting to fight with her. Their brawl kicked up a cloud of dust, limbs and heads popping out of it at random.

"Get to work!" Zelas shouted.

"Yes, get to work! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!" Naga laughed. Lina and Edward winced and covered their ears.

"Ha! Commoners! You aren't worthy to kiss the ground I walk on!" Martina declared, also laughing derangedly. Lina and Edward held themselves back from attacking her. However much they argued with each other, the pair were united in their hatred for the Metalliums.

The mail plopped down in front of the door.

"I'LL GET IT!" the two shouted as one, making a mad dash for the pile of papers. It was their only connection to the outside world.

Lina got to it first. She immediately picked up the first one. "Huh. Prince Gourry is having a ball to choose a bride." For the sake of plot convenience, she started reminiscing about how her father (a lord in service of the king) would sometimes bring her to the castle with him and she'd play with the prince who she had affectionately dubbed 'Jellyfish'.

"The prince is holding a ball to pick his bride, Mother!" Naga and Martina shrieked. Edward clapped his hands and produced a pair of earplugs out of the wall. Lina tried to snatch them out of his hands, the fangirly squeals having woken her from her reverie.

"Indeed," Zelas said calmly. "Lina! Get them ready! Edward will take your chores!"

Lina glared at him, and he debated between pride (she called him short!) and pity (she would have to deal with their squealing...). Pride won, and Lina didn't get the earplugs.

Zelas threw the paper over her shoulder, and Edward picked it up. "Huh. It says that all the females in the kingdom are eligible to attend." He formulated a plan. "Hey, fla- I mean, Lina!" he called. "If I give you the earplugs and help you get to the ball, do you think you could rope the guy into marrying you and free me for my act of kindness?"  
Lina considered it. She glanced at her squealing stepsisters. She remembered how Gourry had promised to marry her someday back when they were children. Considering his memory was like moldy swiss cheese, he probably wouldn't remember, though... _'Oh, what the heck,'_ she decided. _'Anything to drown out the screaming.'_ "You've got yourself a deal, Ed," she said. They shook on it, and the earplugs switched hands.

That night, Lina stepped towards the carriage in a gown made completely out of transmuted grass and shoes made out of transmuted wood. She glared at Edward murderously. "And _how_ do you think I'll make the jellyfish fall for me like this?!" she demanded.

He flinched. He wasn't afraid of many things, but an angry Lina could have disastrous effects on his chances at freedom. He was about ready to run away and become a fugitive, but then he'd never be able to get married or have kids or travel freely with his brother anymore. "From what you've told me, he's not all that bright, so all you have to do is hold his attention... probably. What better way than an organic dress?" he reasoned.

"I don't know, a beautiful one?" his 'friend' shot back.

He winced and retreated back a little. "Hey, I tried not to let my artistic creativity leak into this one!" Lina had made it very vocal that she did _not_ appreciate his style after seeing him transmute a carriage.

"You can't come," Zelas snapped. "It'd be an embarrassment to have you there in _that_ outfit.

"I don't like it either!" Lina retorted, ignoring Ed's insulted "Hey!" "But it's the only one I've _got_ , thanks to you, so I've gotta wear it!"

"Fine, but we don't know each other, and you have to find your own transportation!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Hmph!"

"Hmph!"

"QUIT COPYING ME AND LEAVE ALREADY, YOU STUPID WITCH!"

A very insulted Zelas left with her daughters in a golden carriage. Edward was about to clap his hands, but Lina stopped him.

"Unless you can top that thing they just left in, don't bother," she said dangerously.

 _POOF!_

"Hyuuu~! Is this where our assessment is supposed to be taking place?"

"I think so..."

"Urgh..."

"Ah! Sakura!"

Standing in front of a dumbfounded Lina and Edward were three people: a feminine blond man with blue eyes, a boy with messy brown hair and brown eyes, and a girl with strawberry blonde hair and green eyes. The blonde man (the first speaker) had a mischievous expression on his face, like he knew what made you mad and was gonna do it for all eternity just to see your reaction (he probably did, actually). The boy was holding the girl (who looked rather faint) with a worried expression on his face.

"Hello! I am Fai D. Flowright, pleased to make your acquaintance!" the blonde man chirped. "These two are Syaoran and Sakura. Please excuse them; Sakura-chan gets dimension-sickness, and Syaoran-kun's always worrying over her. You're the one we're supposed to help get to a ball- Kurogane, right? That seems too long. How about... Kuro-tan? Kuro-poo? Kuro-wan? Kurgy?" He was speaking to Edward.

"Hold it!" Lina yelled. "Kurogane is nowhere in that guy's name, and _I'm_ the one trying to get to a ball here! Who are you people?!"

"We're fairy godparents," Syaoran explained. "Well, fairy godparents in training. That's why we're so young. This is our assessment to see if we're skilled enough to advance to the next level."

"Oh, so I'm just a guinea pig. Wonderful," Lina grouched. "Give me a better dress and transportation, and we'll call it even."

"I'm afraid we can't do that!" Fai said brightly. "You see, our 'guinea pig', as you put it, is a man by the name of Kurogane, who is trying to get to Princess Tomoyo's ball because they are destined for each other! Well, actually, he isn't trying, but the princess requested that the fairy godparent academy send someone to get him there. The head fairy, Yuuko, was more than willing to. We were so sure she was going to send her personal apprentice, Watanuki, but she said it would be another assessment! Judging from your appearance, I'd say you're the one Xel-pyon's team was supposed to take care of!"

Then a little white pork bun appeared out of nowhere. "Yuuko said there was a mix-up!" it said cheerfully. "So she sent Mokona to bring you to the right world!"

Lina was very confused. A part of her (the not-confused part) was torn between eating the delicious looking creature and selling it for profit ( _'A_ **TALKING PORK BUN WITH INTERDIMENSIONAL POWERS** _!'_ ). The talking pork bun yelled something like "Mokona Modoki, ready to go! Waaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooooo!" and swallowed the fairy godparents-in-training before also disappearing.

"That... was freaky," Lina exhaled.

"And also against the laws of nature and science," Edward added, one of his eyes twitching severely.

Then a bulge poked out of the sky, stretching down towards the ground. The apparent rip in space disappeared, and in its place where a different trio of people- one was a purple-haired guy with an obnoxious smile and a staff (Lina immediately disliked him). The next was a black-haired girl who was ranting about the 'Justice of True Love' atop a tree. The last... was not even there. Either way, Lina got the feeling there was supposed to be one more.

"Oh? Where did Zelgadis go?" the purple-haired man wondered, his smile never leaving his face. "I wonder, did he disappear into a different world while we were traveling from the dimension Fai-nyan's team was supposed to be?"

"Zelgadis-san is missing?!" the black-haired girl gasped. "Xellos-san! We must find him! It would be unjust to leave a comrade behind!" She was about to launch into a speech about the 'Justice of Friendship' when a voice called out.

"Geez, Amelia, I'm here! Please, don't go making another speech!" It was a guy with blue stone skin with darker blue pebbles scattered across it. His lavender hair was made out of wire, and he was completely dressed in white.

"What are you, a bride?" Lina joked.

The stone guy, probably the missing 'Zelgadis', glared at her. "You be quiet, shorty."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEANSPROUT SO MICROSCOPIC YOU INSTINCTIVELY WANT TO STEP ON HER?!"

"Hey! I copyrighted that!" Edward shouted, enraged.

"I suppose we each take a turn at this!" Xellos said, oblivious to the arguments around him. "Amelia, I'd like to go first, if you please." The girl nodded, and he turned to Lina. "Stay still, please!" he trilled happily. He pointed his staff in her direction and a beam of black and purple light streamed out.

Lina gaped down at herself. She was wearing a violet gown, amethyst jewelry, and obsidian slippers, but... well, the gown had little yellow cat faces patterned all over it.

"What do you think?" Xellos asked cheerfully.

"I think you're nuts!" Lina yelled. "How could you ever think something like _this_ would be acceptable to a ball?!" She gestured towards the smiling kittens on her dress. It made her look like a five-year-old wearing pajamas.

"Tee hee! That's a secret!" Xellos giggled. Lina, Zelgadis, and Edward stepped away from him, all with veins popping.

 _'He gave me a stupid dress!'_ Lina thought.

 _'He used his stupid catchphrase again!'_ Zelgadis thought.

 _'He destroyed my work!'_ Edward thought.

"It's unjust to make fun of a girl when she's trying to go to a ball, Xellos-san!" Amelia scolded. She pointed the blue gems on her bracelets at Lina, a beam of white light shot out of them. After the shower of sparkles finally disappeared, Lina looked down at herself once again.

This time, she was wearing a pure white gown and marble slippers, pearls adorning her neck and ears. "It's nice, but it makes me look like I'm getting married, not attending a ball," she sighed. "Also... WHY IS THE SKIRT ALL PUFFY! I CAN'T WALK AND IT WEIGHS A TON!" It was true. She said all that as Edward and Zelgadis both helped her up.

"My turn now, I guess," Zelgadis sighed. He held up his hands, his palms facing her. A beam of blue light shot out and hit her. Her dress was replaced with a cape and a pink-ish red outfit with very pointless yellow parts. The long gloves Amelia had given her were replaced by shorter ones, and her marble shoes were exchanged for sturdy boots. Round gold earrings replaced the pearls, and she also had red gem accessories..

"How is this even _close_ to a ballgown?!" Lina demanded. "Of everything I've worn today, _Ed's_ was best! It was made by the guy who turned a carriage into a monster!" Said alchemist looked offended.

"Oh, how sad. It appears I'm going to be kicked out of school for not even coming close to what I'm supposed to do," Zelgadis said boredly. He didn't appear to care very much about his impending banishment. "I don't see how they let me stay and kicked out Lyra. I mean, my attitude's worse than hers, but do they let me out? Nooooooo, they force me to stay 'cause Yuuko finds me amusing and because my grandfather was one of the greatest fairy godfathers to ever exist!"

"B-But Zelgadis-san!" Amelia sniffled, teary-eyed. "Th-The Justice of F-Friendship! I-I thought I m-meant something t-to you!"

Zelgadis's face turned panicky, and Lina, being intelligent, figured out how to work the situation to her advantage.

"Hey, Amelia," she called. "Isn't not giving it his best shot going against the Justice of, um, Effort?"

Amelia gasped in horror. "Oh my goodness, you're right! _Why, Zelgadis-san_?!" The tears started to flow now.

"Okay, okay, I'll do it! Just stop crying!" the chimera exclaimed. The waterworks ended, much to his relief. He shot the beam of light at Lina again, and this time, she was in a dress that was the same color as the outfit before, and the sash was yellow. The long gloves returned, and her jewelry was made out of rose gold with diamonds in dotting it. Her shoes? They were made of glass.

"Hey, how am I supposed to walk in these?" Lina asked, frowning.

"They're magic-reinforced," Zelgadis explained. "I would've used diamonds, but you might step on someone's foot, and they might end up hospitalized."

"Okay..." Lina said doubtfully. "Guess I owe you one, Zel. But what about my transportation?"

"Leave that to me!" Xellos said cheerfully. "If dramatic is what you're going for, I'll call up a bunch of wolves to pull the carriage!"

"I can make a tomato carriage," Amelia piped up. "Pumpkins are more common, but it isn't autumn."

Using the staff, a pack of sleek silvery wolves arrived, and with the help of the blue gemstones, the tomato grew to be a round red carriage.

Lina blinked. "Wow. You guys may be bad with dresses, but this is pretty good."

"Good luck," Zelgadis said, turning to leave.

"Wait! Does the magic ever run out?" Lina called.

Zelgadis shook his head. "No. The jewelry and dress were created by me, and they were just traded for the clothes you were wearing before. The wolves will finally leave at the next full moon- it's next week- and the tomato just has an enlargement spell with a few adjustments from Amelia. It'll eventually rot, but you can eat it before then. The seeds have been cleared out, and there are leaves lining the seats- I'm sure your alchemist friend can make them into actual seat covers. Bye." With a _POOF!_ , the three of them disappeared.

Lina blinked, shrugged, and got into the carriage. "Later, Ed!" she called. "With any luck, you'll be a free midget tomorrow!"

"DON'T CALL ME A MIDGET!" he screamed.

Lina arrived fashionably late, and she pushed past the other girls (giving a particularly vicious shove to Martina and Naga) and stood in front of Gourry. "Hey, remember me?"

Gourry looked confused (as usual). "Um... who are you again?"

She whacked him over the head. "JELLYFISH!"

The nickname sparked a memory. Well, it was either that or the punch. "Lina!" he exclaimed. "I thought I'd never see you again!"

Lina rolled her eyes. "I'll just bet you did," she scoffed. "You probably forgot me in just a few weeks."

"Nuh-uh. You just look a little different now," Gourry defended himself. "The scars you left in the castle are too deep."

"Why, you... JELLYFISH!"

After Lina had finished berating him, the couple went to the king, who was fast asleep on the throne.

"Dad!" Gourry called.

The king woke up with a start. "What! I'm awake!"

Gourry attempted to begin the introductions. "Dad, this is-"

"Lina!" the king gasped in horror. "What are you doing here?!"

Lina struggled to keep her temper under control. "I'm here to marry Gourry, what else?"

The king immediately calmed down. "Oh, okay. I thought you were here to pillage the castle and burn it down. Have a happy marriage!"

Since the fairy godparent academy whose students helped Lina was practical and didn't have dramatic deadlines or weak magic that only lasted for a short while, Lina was able to have her wedding the next day (staying at the castle rather than going back to the mansion with her stepfamily). It was attended by a smug Zelgadis, an annoying Xellos, a tearful, overjoyed Amelia, a free, overjoyed Edward, a suit of armor, a girl carrying around a wrench, a happy head fairy (who immediately demanded to be led to the food, dragging a complaining boy with her), an attempting-to-whistle Fai, a congratulatory Syaoran and Sakura, a black Mokona and a white Mokona, and two people no one knew except the last seven, a tall black-haired man with red eyes that looked violent, as if he wanted to hit someone with a sword (he did) and a girl with dark hair and eyes. A relieved Zelas pushed Naga and Martina (who were sobbing over not marrying the prince) and grabbed Xellos on her way out as she returned to Wolfpack Island. The rest of the gang was very surprised to realize that the other group really _had_ come from another world and that in an alternate universe inside the crazy authoress's mind, Zelgadis, Amelia, Xellos, Fai, Syaoran, and Sakura really _did_ attend a fairy godparent academy, and Yuuko really _was_ the head fairy godmother. The Tsubasa and xxxHolic characters were returned to their dimensions (Kurogane almost too shocked to move when he found out that his marriage to Tomoyo was actually valid), and the Elric brothers and Winry went back to the Fullmetal Alchemist universe.

Anyway, they all lived relatively happily- though chaotically- ever after.

The end.

...for now.

 **Petal: Hope you liked it!**

 **Zelgadis: That... wasn't as torturous as I thought it would be.**

 **Amelia: That was so much fun!**

 **Lina: I'M ACTUALLY MARRIED TO THE JELLYFISH NOW?!**

 **Gourry: Lina, calm down...**

 **Lina: DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!**

 **Fai: Xel-pyon!**

 **Xellos: Fai-nyan!**

 **Kurogane: I'm... married to... Princess Tomoyo... Amaterasu and Souma... are gonna kill me...**

 **Tomoyo: Ohoho!**

 **Naga: That's not how you do it! It's OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!**

 **Syaoran & Sakura: *sweatdrop***

 **Yuuko: Hey, you! The price for reading this is a review!**


End file.
